Vedic Training: How To Become A Krishna Conscious Wife For ISKCON Brahmacarinis
"Why So Concerned About Marriage" chapter of the Brahmacarini
Training Manual. >Contents
Krishna Consciousness Is For Renunciation. Why Be So Concerned AboutMarried Life?:
Krishna Consciousness is a Society. Society means men, women,
children, families, etc. Lord Caitanya Mahaprabhu married twice. Nityananda, Adwaita
Acharya, Srinivas, Gadadhar, they are all married men. Srila Prabhupad was a family man.
Krishna married 16,108 times. Married life is allowed, it is a part of Krishna
The purpose of marriage is for husband and wife to assist one
another in their service and progress on the path of love for Krishna. As
we will read, Srila Prabhupad encouraged and wanted that all women be married.
Especially every young woman must be married. Srila Prabhupad
encouraged that brahmacari should remain life-long brahmacari, if possible.
At least it is advised to
wait as long as they can. Brahmacari is time for self-control, austerity.
To build up strong character. Srila Prabhupad instructed, and Manu states
in the Manu Samhita, that a
boy should put off marriage up until the point when his service or duties
become hindered due to mental agitation. Then he can marry. But, for girls,
Prabhupad taught that prior to
puberty they should be married. And girl should be given a child as soon
as she is able.
Room Conversation August 15, 1971, London 710815rc.lon
Prabhupada: Yes. That is psychological. They develop... Sex
life, sex urge is there as soon as twelve years, thirteen years old, especially women. So
therefore early marriage was sanctioned in India. Early marriage. Boy fifteen years,
sixteen years, and girl twelve years. Not twelve years, ten years. I was married, my wife
was eleven years. I was 22 years. She did not know what is sex, eleven years girl.
Because Indian girls, they have no such opportunity of mixing with others.
But after the first menstruation, the husband is ready. This is the system,
Shyamasundara: So they are not spoiled.
Prabhupada: No. And the psychology is the girl, after first
menstruation, she enjoys sex life with a boy, she will never forget that boy. Her love for
that boy is fixed up for good. This is womans psychology. And she is allowed to have
many, oh, she will never be chaste woman. These are the psychology. So these rascals,
Westerners, they do not know and they are becoming philosopher, scientist, and politician,
and spoiling the whole world. They can be saved only by this Krsna consciousness
movement. There is no other way.
Purport to SB 4.25.42
A young woman who has no husband is called anatha,
"one who is not protected." As soon as a woman attains the age
of puberty, she immediately becomes very much agitated by sexual desire.
It is therefore the duty of the
father to get his daughter married before she attains puberty. Otherwise
she will be very much mortified by not having a husband. Anyone who satisfies
her desire for sex at that
age becomes a great object of satisfaction. It is a psychological fact
that when a woman at the age of puberty meets a man and the man satisfies
her sexually, she will love that
man for the rest of her life, regardless who he is. Thus so-called love
within this material world is nothing but sexual satisfaction.
Srila Prabhupad says that the world can only be saved by this
Krishna Consciousness movement. There is no other way. Girls must be married young. A
young girl who has no husband is considered to be unprotected. We shall learn why
protection by marriage of women is important a little later.
But these things apply specifically for our daughters. What about
the girls who come to Krishna Consciousness later in life?
Marriage of Satsvarüpa and Jaduräëi
New York, September 5, 1968 680905IN.NY
There are twelve selected personalities
who are considered to be the authority of this Krsna consciousness
movement [the 12 mahajans]. Out of twelve authorities, seven authorities
were all grhasthas, householders. Caitanya
Mahaprabhus associates, Nityananda Prabhu, Advaita Prabhu, Gadadhara,
Srivasa, and Caitanya Mahaprabhu Himself, they were all householders.
So it is not that simply sannyäsé or brahmacäré can realize Krsna consciousness
and not the householders. No.
So in our association we welcome this sort of marriage between
trained brahmacari and brahmacarini so that we can welcome nice children
for future Krsna conscious generation. That is our viewpoint.
First of all, Srila Prabhupad was not opposed to marriage by
trained brahmacari and brahmacarini. Note, however, Srila Prabhupad says they must be
trained. Part of that training is the training this book is intended to give. Training for
the duties and roles of householder life.
Room Conversation April 2, 1977, Bombay 770402rc.bom
Prabhupad: Woman brahmacarini, this
Tamala Krsna: In our centers, though, there are
so many brahmacarinis, and even sometimes theyre encouraged
to remain brahmacarini.
Prabhupada: That they cannot. As soon as they
will find opportunity, they will become vyabhicarini. [unchaste - prostitute]
Tamala Krsna: Theyll become what?
Prabhupada: Vyabhicarini. For woman, protection.
Tamala Krsna: So you dont advocate this
remaining sing..., these women remaining brahmacarini.
Prabhupada: Therefore polygamy was allowed. Let them be taken
care of, one husband, three wives. Therefore the kñatriyas were taking
hundreds of women. They had money.
Tamala Krsna: Who?
Tamala Krsna: Ksatriyas, yes.
Prabhupada: Just like we see, when Devaki was
married, so many Devakis young friends also went. They were taken shelter. The woman
population is always bigger.
For women, the brahmacarinis, Srila Prabhupad stressed
marriage. They must be protected. Even if they become a mans second or third wife,
they require protection. That is the point. Prabhupad did not encourage young unmarried
girls to remain unmarried, even if they were distributing so many books. He only
encouraged marriage for girls. Get trained in household life and get them married. This is
Srila Prabhupads desire.
Letter to: Satsvarupa, Montreal, 18 August, 1968 68-08-08
That the Brahmacarini ashram is a good
success is very good news. But the best thing will be if the grown-up
Brahmacarinis get married.
According to Vedic culture, woman is never to remain independent. I shall
be glad if the Brahmacarinis
can have nice husbands, and live as Grhasthas. But if they cannot find
out good husbands, it is better to remain a Brahmacarini all the life,
even though it is little difficult
This was Srila Prabhupads teachings at the beginning of
the movement, back in 1968 (this letter is in reference to the first formal brahmacarini
ashram in ISKCON) and his instructions remained the same through to 1977. Prabhupad wanted
the girls to be trained and married. Women are not to ever be independent. Prabhupad says
he will be glad if all the girls have nice husbands. But, if they cannot find a good
husband (since there were plenty of men at the time, this sort of indicates that many of
the men in the movement were (are) not really qualified to be good husbands), then he says
it is better to remain brahmacarini all life, even if it is difficult. Manu Samhita says
the same thing. Manu says that if the father cannot find any one qualified the girl must
remain protected in her fathers house her entire life.
Letter to: Rukmini, Los Angeles, 19 December, 1968 68-12-19
In your letter you have written that you are desiring to remain
as brahmacarini for a few years longer and this idea is alright. In India the marriage
between a boy and girl is arranged by the parents but in this country such arrangement is
not possible so we never request our students to marry if they are not desiring to do
Srila Prabhupad was requesting if Rukmini would marry one male
devotee, and she replied she preferred to wait. Srila Prabhupad was acting
as father to this girl, and he attempted to make an arrangement, but she
didnt agree. If one is
not willing to marry, then Srila Prabhupad didnt push them to do so.
However, as we read earlier it is fully authorized to marry if one so desires.
And if he or she desires
not to, no one should force them to. Although Srila Prabhupad states here
that such arranged marriages are not possible (at that time) we must balance
that statement with the
fact that this is the system that he personally introduced and taught us
to abide by.
CC Madhya 7.128 Purport
Instead of living engrossed in material
activities, people throughout the world should take advantage of this
movement and chant the Hare Krsna
mahä-mantra at home with their families. One should also refrain from sinful
activitiesillicit sex, meat-eating, gambling and intoxication. Out
of these four items, illicit sex is very sinful. Every person must get
married. Every woman especially
must get married. If the women outnumber the men, some men can accept more
than one wife. In that way there will be no prostitution in society. If
men can marry more than one wife,
illicit sex life will be stopped.
Especially every woman must get married. This is
desire. Women should not think that because brahmacaris are encouraged
to remain celibant that they should also strive in this way. A woman makes
advancement by serving her
husband, not by trying to perfect the duties prescribed to men. She becomes
perfect by following the duties prescribed to her. And Prabhupad is giving
here that one duty is for
all women to get themselves married to a man. When all the women are properly
protected by marriage then illicit sex life will be stopped. The purpose
is for protection. Why? What
is the value of protection by marriage?
Protection through marriage is explained in the Bhagavad Gita
Chapter One, Verses 39 to 43. There it is said that when irreligion becomes prominent in
society the woman are easily misled into degradation (being exploited or misused as
objects of sex enjoyment only). When the women of society become degraded unwanted
children are born. A society that is overrun with unwanted children becomes both
completely corrupt and hellish. On the other hand, a society in which the women are
properly protected Prabhupad says that good population will result.
From the purport of Bhagavad Gita 1.40:
Good population in human society is
the basic principle for peace, prosperity and spiritual progress in
life. The varnashrama religion's principles
were so designed that the good population would prevail in society for
the general spiritual progress of state and community. Such population
depends on the chastity and
faithfulness of its womanhood. As children are very prone to be misled,
women are similarly very prone to degradation. Therefore, both children
and women require protection
by the elder members of the family... ...On the failure of such varëäçrama-dharma,
naturally the women become free to act and mix with men, and thus adultery
is indulged in at the risk of unwanted population. Irresponsible men also
provoke adultery in society,
and thus unwanted children flood the human race at the risk of war and
Good population is the basis for peace, prosperity and spiritual
progress. Good population depends on the chastity and faithfulness of societys
women. This requires that the women be properly protected. And that is the
need for such in Krishna Consciousness.
The greatest part of this book deals with the duties and proper
behavior of women in regards to becoming good wives. Fewer instructions (but
by far not at all less important) are there for the men. The reason for
this is that, as we shall see,
it is the duty of women to become expert in household affairs, to make family
life peaceful. Mans main occupation in life is his work, earning
the livelihood and maintaining the family. His activities lay mostly outside
the home. As a brahman his duty
is to teach others, as a ksatriya his duty is to manage stately affairs,
as a vaishya he does business within society, and as a laborer he engages
in assisting the other three
classes. These are his main occupations, which lie outside the home and family.
The woman's duty, however, concerns the home and family, raising the children,
cleaning, sewing. Managing household and family affairs. Her duty, more then
a man's, is to assure a happy and peaceful family life. Therefore in speaking
about duties in
marriage, the women play the key roles and training must be stressed more